Breast Cancer, BRCA and Stress Relief

Acupuncture. Self hypnosis. Meditation. Yoga. There are many ways to rid the body of negative effects from stress. My personal favorite involves a soak in the tub with my main man, Mr. Bubble. When frazzled, many of us resort to eating or drinking things we should not. I have done this as well. On the refrigerator of a friend I once saw a large sign reading “THE ANSWER IS NOT IN HERE.” The answer is also not in the liquor cabinet, beer cooler or wine cellar. For those at high risk for breast cancer or those who have already met the monster, complete stress relief can now be had for a mere $5.87 including shipping, thanks to some entrepreneurs in China.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you The Ultimate Gigantic Stress Relieving Breast Ball.

Squeeze your stress away

In my e-mail box this morning I discovered a junk mail message from a company called Sammy Dress. Located in Shenzhen, China, they call themselves a cheap online clothing store. Seriously. Among their offerings I spotted this squeeze toy, just as my finger hovered over the delete button. I had to read more.

Here is the description of this product, direct from the company web site:

Are you looking for a gift to your friends on April fool’s day? This Large Breast Ball may be the best gift choice for you to take! Besides, the Breast Ball is a fun and effective way to promote breast cancer awareness. Imprint your logo or promotional message. Promote your logo and relieve your stress with the Breast Ball. These promotional stress reliever toys are one-of-a-kind.

Main Feature:

  • Stress relief breast squeeze ball, touch it and you will feel good.
  • Produced by TPR material with jelly inside, non-toxic.
  • It is a squeeze toy for adult, and it felt vivid when you touch and squeeze .
  • Breast ball toy is comfortable, and easy to use.
  • Quite interesting, also quite distinct, this trick breast ball will make you smile all along.

As a writer and former marketing communications manager, this kind of language makes me howl with laughter. I can’t wait to order one just so I can feel “vivid” when I touch it. I plan to take it with me to the hospital for my next round of surgeries. I may even have to carry one in my purse at all times. Perhaps a matched set would be a nice gift for other members of my BRCA challenged family. Volume discounts are available!

The Ultimate Gigantic Stress Relieving Breast Ball. I’m feeling better already.

UPDATE: Direct from Hong Kong today…

OK, these are kinda creepy

I’m not sure I like these. For one thing they are gigantic! Maybe some guys would like playing with these Dolly Parton imitations.

Not much stress relief here.

More like weird sex toy than stress reliever but hey, I see great potential for gag gifts.

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